The Joy of Enjoying
For this week's happiness chunk, I want to share something that happened to me in Vegas—and tie it back to a piece of wisdom from one of my favorite meditation teachers, Jeff Warren. I think about this particular insight of his all the time.
Jeff Warren, who I’ve probably mentioned on the podcast before, is based in Canada. If you use the Calm app—free for Kaiser members, by the way—he does the Daily Calm, a guided meditation that I really love. I don’t do it every single day, but I do it when I can.
Anyway, in one of Jeff’s guided meditations a couple of years ago, he was talking about enjoyment, and he said this sentence that really landed with me. I had to pause the meditation and write it down:
“Don’t wait for something to present as enjoyable. Decide to enjoy it up front.”
I think about that all the time. Because I love going to events—concerts, movies, museums, theater, meals, classes. You hope what you’re going to experience is good, of course. But even when it’s not, I try to make a conscious decision beforehand: I’m going to enjoy this. Maybe the acting won’t blow me away, maybe the story’s no that interesting—but I’ll still try find something to enjoy. The fact that I’m there, the fact that I’m breathing and having this experience—that is worth something.
So I don’t sit there with my arms crossed, waiting for something to impress me. You know those people who walk out of a movie and say, “Well, that’s 110 minutes I’ll never get back”? Sure, it’s a funny turn of phrase. But I don’t want to live in that energy. I want to find something to enjoy—even if it’s just appreciating how weird or unexpected something was.
This mindset—of deciding to enjoy things in advance—has really worked for me. It’s opened me up to more experiences. It’s helped me appreciate the things I say yes to. And I’ve stopped being the guy with the imaginary clipboard going, “I have a few notes.”
Now, back to Vegas. In 2019, my friend Matt Mueller was visiting from England. We go way back—he was one of my editors in the '90s when he was at British Premiere. That magazine was such a fun ride, and working with Matt gave me some amazing opportunities: I got to write profiles , wrote my first Screening Party pieces, and even had lunch with Elizabeth Hurley not long after the safety pin dress moment. She was delightful.
Anyway, when Matt visited L.A., he brought his partner Cal. Cal directs stage shows—big, bold, edgy productions with acrobats, comedians, jugglers, burlesque. The whole spectacle. I saw one in England and loved it. At the time, Cal was working on a show in Vegas called Atomic Saloon, and I remember thinking, I want to see that. I even put it on my dream board.
Then COVID hit and I totally forgot about it.
Flash forward to this year—I knew I was going to be in Vegas, and I saw Atomic Saloon still running on the night I had off. I decided to walk from my hotel to the Venetian, where the show is. This was no joke: 100+ degrees, 45 minutes down the Strip, navigating bridges and crowds and trying to stay on the shady side of the street.
But I made it! Barely in time, thanks to a discounted ticket hookup from another friend. I ended up in a seat that was basically on the stage. The show is filthy, in the best way. The first number includes lyrics about eating pussy, sucking cock, and licking ass—and that’s just the opener. It’s in-your-face, un-PC, bawdy, boozy, and really fun.
I really enjoyed the show. But I also enjoyed following through on something I said I wanted. That feels good. That feels like a win…during time that feels so precarious.
And even if the show had been not great or different than I expected it still would’ve been a win because I had already decided to enjoy it. Up front.
I try to approach all kinds of experiences that way now—not as a checklist of worthiness or value, but as an opportunity. What can I learn from this? What can I laugh at, marvel at, or even be confused by?
After the show, I took a little walk outside the Venetian and I got to see the Sphere—also on my dream board. I watched it do its animated emoji sequence. Another unexpected joy.
The point is: you can decide to enjoy things. You can make that your stance, your baseline. Enjoy life. Eat out more often. Like those old straw wrappers used to say.
Shout out to Jeff Warren. You can check out more about him at jeffwarren.org. He does these “Do Nothing” hangouts on YouTube and has this really warm, funny, wise presence.